You are welcome here.

I melted on the porch of the taco shop. Elijah, my new pastor simply said “well, you are welcome here.” Tears. Bent head. Hands over face. Blubbering. Red-eyed, I looked up at Elijah as he said it again. You are welcome here.

A place for me? I had been hiding for at least 25 years. Putting on the mantle of evangelical leader, volunteer, intern, associate, and co-pastor over those years. Now a few weeks into coming out to myself, my wife, and my closest friends, I found myself coming out to Elijah, afraid that he/they would tell me I’m not okay. That I am worse than them.

I knew I was no longer welcome at the church I used to serve six years before. I wasn’t really ready to welcome myself. And here this pastor said,

“you are welcome here.”

In time, with those people, in that place, I learned welcome. For my self. My big old gay self. My judgmental self. My good boy self. And everything inbetween. But I also learned welcome for others for whom I had not made room along the way. This people sang, ate, prayed, read, and served the Jesus of the gospels. Whereas I had controlled the Jesus of the rules and regulations for year. I sat with people I used to think were too liberal. I sang with persons experiencing homelessness. I listened as they debated “the issue” of homosexuality without fear and othering I received in evangelical churches on my way to this place.

Finding a people and place of welcome is key to finding welcome for yourself and others. If you are on that journey, I would be glad to walk with you, starting with the words “you are welcome here.”